Phasmatis
by deadghost
Summary: Tomo's reckless driving ends in a tragady that she can never forgive herself for. Her life is torn apart and she is at her end. Who will save her as she stands on the brink?


Phasmatis

(A/N) Just a oneshot. I got the idea while I was sitting in my car listening to the radio as I awaited a tow truck in the 40 degree celcius heat. Hope you enjoy.

Tomo yanked the the gearbox into forth as she screamed down the street. The back wheels of her Honda Civic squeal as she went around a sharp turn without dropping her speed at all. Her passenger, Yomi, held onto the seat as tightly as she could.

"Slow down, you moron!" Yomi shouted as Tomo slipped through a red light.

"Don't be such a baby, Yomi. Remember when Yukari drove like this?" Tomo replied, slamming down even more on the accelerator.

"Why did I agree to let her drive?" Yomi scolded herself. Sweat was forming on her brow as adrenaline pumped through her.

"Hey, wanna see me get through that intersection?" Laughed Tomo as the car rapidly approached a busy crossroads. Yomi could see cars crossing ahead. There was enough room in between the cars for Tomo to zoom between them, but Yomi was still terrified as they flew towards the intersection.

"Tomo! Slow down!" Yomi screamed as the Civic shot through the cars and emerged unscathed, there was a cacophony of honks as the drivers showed their anger at Tomo's daredevil driving. Yomi's face was as pale as a ghost, sweat was ripping from her head and her palms were moist. Tomo was laughing as she saw Yomi's reaction, slowing down as she continued to laugh.

Tomo slowed, reaching the speed limit fairly quickly.

"You're too easy to scare, Yomi." Tomo continued laughing "I knew what I was doing. No one got hurt, so calm down."

"You're going to be the death of me." Yomi stuttered.

"Don't worry." Tomo nudged her friend. "Look, I'll do it again!" Tomo suddenly accelerated towards the traffic lights, which were turning from green to red.

"Tomo, don't. You're going to hit someone." Yomi tried to protest, but Tomo wasn't listening.

The Civic rushed onward. Tomo leaned forward like she was trying to will the car to go even faster. The lights turned red and the car wasn't even close to passing over the line but Tomo pushed on. The Civic zoomed over the line just as another car was pulling into the lane. The driver was new to driving and trying to impress his friends by going as fast as he dared go.

He accelerated out into the road, his attention turned to something behind him. He failed to notice the speeding car directly in front of him. He learned too late and his car smashed into the side of Tomo's Civic. The cars twisted and crunched into each other. Tomo's head collided with the window and all went black.

* * *

The world slowly and painfully came into focus. Tomo's head was pounding in pain. She could hear a frequent beeping somewhere far away. It got louder then quieter again as Tomo's head throbbed in sequence with the beeps. The beeps began to fade away and once again Tomo's world was enveloped in darkness. The darkness offered Tomo peace from the pain that consumed her whenever conciousness returned to her.

Time was an incomprehensible blur to her. Sometimes she could hear very distant voices speaking incredibly slowly. Other times there was nothing but a high pitched jabbering nearby. Tomo couldn't make sense of any of it. It was like her mind was falling through a thick layer of maple syrup. Finally the dreamlike trance came to end.

Tomo looked around the white sterile room. She was lying on a bed, it was stiff and Tomo felt like she had been there for a while. She tried to sit up but a sudden stab of pain shot through her arm. She lifted her arm up, fighting off the pain. She examined her arm, it was bandaged in a thick caste.

"When did … Wait what happened?" Tomo thought, trying to remember what had happened to her. "I was in a car? But then … what?" It made Tomo's head ache as she tried to remember the what had happened to her a few hours ago, or was it days? Weeks?

Someone was in the room with her. The person was sitting in the corner, slouched in the chair. Their long, black hair flowed from their head, which was resting in their palm as they slept.

"Sakaki?" Tomo managed say. Immediately, the sleeping girl awoke and looked up to see Tomo looking at her, a mixture of pain and confusion on her face.

Sakaki jumped up and embraced Tomo in a hug.

"What's that for?" asked Tomo weakly.

"We were worried you wouldn't wake up." Spoke Sakaki, not releasing Tomo from the embrace.

"How long was I out?"

Sakaki let go and took a step back, her vision focused on the floor. Sakaki didn't know how to break the news, was she even the right person for this? While Sakaki thought of a way to avoid the question, Tomo grew impatient.

"Sakaki. How long was I out?"

Sakaki looked up, her eyes were sorrowful. She knew what she was about to say would hurt Tomo deeply, but she had to do this. It would be better to hear it from a friend than some doctor or nurse.

"You've been in a coma for the last two months." Sakaki said, her eyes showed her sympathy for Tomo. But the worst was yet to come.

Tomo was shocked, she had lost two months of her life. "The last thing I remember is being in the car with … Yomi! Is Yomi okay?!" Tomo pleaded. Sakaki returned another sympathetic look. Tomo felt a sudden stab of pain in her stomach and her heart rate increased dramatically.

"Sakaki, where's Yomi?" Tomo asked again. But again, Sakaki answered with silence, removing her gaze from Tomo.

"Yomi, Yomi didn't …. make it. After the crash, she had suffered too much blood loss. The doctors tried, but they couldn't save her." said Sakaki quietly, so quietly in fact that Tomo wondered if she had just imagined it.

"What?"

"Yomi died after the crash, Tomo. You fell into a coma." Sakaki said, louder this time.

Tomo felt light headed. This wasn't true. It couldn't be. Yomi wasn't dead, this was just one of her cruel joke, an incredibly cold-hearted, unfunny joke. Tomo's vision blurred and Sakaki's voice became distorted.

Tomo? Are you okay. Tomo?" The words faded away and Tomo passed out. Consumed by peaceful sleep to escape the cruel reality.

* * *

Two weeks after being released from the hospital …..

Tomo sat in her dark room. Her arm still hurt despite having healed. She ignored the pain, it was nothing compared to the pain that burnt inside her. She hadn't left her dank apartment in days, she didn't dare step foot outside. Every time someone's eyes met hers, she felt like they were judging her what she did and it hurt more than weapon could. It was too much for her to deal with.

Everyday was misery. Crushing guilt.

It was her stupid driving that had killed her best friend in the whole world. Her stupid, reckless ways had led her to endanger herself and Yomi. Tomo had laughed in the face of the demons of death and they had taken their toll, not on Tomo, but on Yomi. Yomi, who had been a loyal friend to Tomo for as long as she could remember.

She hadn't even had the chance to apologise and say goodbye. Tomo had slept through the funeral, the last chance to see her friend and she had been trapped in a coma several miles away. The only upside to her damaged sleep was that she didn't have to face the grieving Mizuhara family and try to express how truly, deeply sorry she was for them, for taking their daughter from them at such a young age. Trying to do that would have too much for the emotionally and physically damaged girl to bear.

Everyday was the same for her. She awoke at random hours of the day. Torn from the relative solace of sleep, she was thrown back into her waking world of misery. She held herself together as best she could for as long as she could. Picking herself up from where she had fallen asleep the night before after crying herself to sleep again. She hadn't changed from the clothes she had managed to pull on three days ago; a dark blue hoodie and black tracksuit pants. She was thirsty, drained of fluids by the frequent crying.

She wandered into the kitchen, several dirty glasses littered the counter. Finding a glass which held old orange juice, she rinsed it out and poured it full of water, gulping it down in a few seconds. It made her feel better for a few precious seconds. Maybe today would be a good day. Maybe today was the day Tomo took her life back and carried on. She started washing up the glasses and plates that had slowly amassed. She carried on into the living room, folding the blanket she had used in the dark nights. She opened the curtains and light flooded in, giving her previously grim apartment a new life.

As she cleaned her apartment, she felt better. The mundane tasks were a welcome distraction from the crushing depression she had been trapped in for the last two weeks. In little under an hour, her home was clean and bright. Tomo was happy. A small ray of joy had pierced her depression and it was her escape from the dark world she had inhabited for many days.

All she had to do now was replaced the clothes she had been wearing and using to clear away the countless tears. She stripped and searched for a new outfit. She looked through her wardrobe and chose jeans and a black shirt with a dark brown coat over the top. Tomo was about to step out the door into the world when she felt something in her pockets.

She pulled out a photograph. It had been taken a few months ago when Tomo and Yomi had gone on a trip to Hokkaido. The picture was of Tomo and Yomi standing in front of a hot spring, Tomo had a large, cheesy grin across her face, holding her friend tightly, while Yomi had a smaller, but genuine smile. Yomi was looking at Tomo, her face like a mother watching her children play. On the back of the picture were the scribbled words _Tomo and Yomi, Best friends in Hokkaido!_

Whatever ray of joy had illuminated Tomo's world was gone now. Destroyed in an instant by a sudden surge of guilt and self hatred. Tomo collapsed to the ground, her heart burned and her eyes were welling with tears.

_I'm sorry, Yomi. It's all my fault you're dead_. She said to no one as she cried. _I'm such an idiot, can't do anything right. I just wanted to impress you, that's all! I didn't mean to hurt you!_ Tomo was crying aloud.

_It was my stupid driving, I should have died, not you!_ Tomo bared her soul out, but no one was around to see inside, to see how truly sorrowful she was.

Tomo pulled herself into the kitchen, pulling herself to her feet. She needed another drink of water. She grabbed a glass, still soapy from being washed. It slipped from her hand and smashed on the floor. This triggered another wave of sobs from Tomo. _Why can't I do anything with destroying something?_ She grabbed a large piece of glass.

It cut into her palm and blood spilled out. Tomo pulled her hand away quickly. Seeing the blood pool in her palm gave her an idea.

_I was supposed to die. Not you, Yomi. _Tomo spoke to the ceiling. She reached into the draws and pulled out the largest knife she had.

_I know this won't bring you back, Yomi. But maybe it'll even things out._

Tomo ran herself a bath and stripped down. She let the hot water wash over her, she hadn't even scrubbed herself first, Yomi would have been annoyed.

Tears still running drown her face, Tomo placed the blade to her wrist and pulled it away quickly. The sharp knife cut cleanly and blood poured from the new wound. The cut stung Tomo badly, but the pain was only temporary, she knew. The same on the other wrist. Soon, blood was mingling with hot bath water and Tomo was slipping away into oblivion. Tomo let the relaxing hot water and dizzying effects of blood loss carry her away.

* * *

"Tomo." came a distant, familiar voice. "Tomo!" the voice was clearer now.

Tomo opened her eyes slowly, her vision was blurry from the blood loss. She could see someone standing over her. Long brown hair and slightly chubby body.

"Yomi?" Tomo mumbled in disbelief. Her vision clearer more. Before her, stood Yomi. She was dressed in a white kimono with a beautiful pattern running up her side.

"It's me, Tomo." Yomi's voice was perfectly clear now.

"What are you doing here? Am I dead already?" Tomo asked, her head was feeling very light and she could put words together so well.

"No. But I am."

Tears fell from Tomo's eyes and she wept openly. "I'm sorry, Yomi. I was an idiot and I got you killed"

Yomi knelt down so she was face to face with Tomo. She reached out and wiped away the tear that fell down Tomo's cheek.

"Do not cry for me, Tomo. I'm happy where I am. I don't want you to be sad, be happy for me." Yomi's voice was so soft and smooth it was like silk on Tomo's ears.

"I'm so sorry, Yomi. I didn't want to hurt you." Tomo wept. Yomi held Tomo's head as she wept into her chest. The silk kimono was unbelievably smooth, like it was made of pure water. But the material of Yomi's kimono was of little importance to Tomo.

"I forgive you, Tomo." Said Yomi. These words caused another surge of tears, but these were different. These weren't tears of sorrow, but of joy.

Tomo, even in her extremely dopey state knew she was experiencing an hallucination caused by the lack of blood to her brain. But the simple fact that she had heard Yomi forgive her was enough to bring indescribable relief to Tomo in her last few minutes in this world.

"Thank you, Yomi. Thank you." Tomo mumbled between sobs of happiness.

"Tomo, can you do something for me?" Hallucination Yomi asked.

"Anything." Tomo replied.

"I want you to go out into the world and be happy. Be good and one day we will see each other again. Can you promise me that?"

"I promise, Yomi. I'll be good for the rest of my life." Said Tomo, smiling. The rest of her life could be measured in minutes anyway.

Yomi smiled back. A smile so beautiful it would make the Mona Lisa look dog-ugly.

Slowly, the hallucination began to fade away. Tomo was sad to see it go, but knew that it must mean her time was coming to an end, she closed her eyes and waited for the infinite cushion of death to welcome her.

* * *

Far in the distance, there was a boom lie someone thumping on the other side of a thick wall. It followed by several other smaller booms. Tomo could feel vibrations in her body like there was a giant walking nearby. The thuds were replaced by a distant growl, It sounded like someone was talking to her, but through a glass panel, only the crudest of vibrations made it into Tomo's blood deprived brain. Tomo could almost recognise the voice as it called out in the distance.

Tomo could feel her body being taken hold of. She was almost completely numb, but she knew someone had grabbed her. She was too tired to fight or speak, just lay there with the bloody water covering her naked body.

Finally, all was black and calm and quiet. Tomo was sleeping, resting in a warm pool of darkness that she wished would never end.

But it did.

* * *

Tomo's eyes opened slowly, the light of the room nearly blinding her. The old sound of the beeping machine was back.

"What the …?" she mumbled, or thought she did. She didn't feel like she had the energy to control her vocal cords. The room cleared up quickly. It was the same sterile hospital room she had awoken in little under a month ago. And like last time, there was someone by her side.

Resting her head on the side of the bed, Kagura had been watching over Tomo for several long, worrying hours. Waiting for her to wake up.

"Kagura?" Asked Tomo, weakly.

Kagura's head shot up and looked up at Tomo. She wrapped her arms around Tomo's neck and hugged her tightly.

"Thank God, Tomo. I thought I was too late." Kagura said to a confused Tomo.

"How did you know I was dying?" Asked Tomo, wondering how Kagura had known about her suicide attempt. She hadn't told anyone or even left a note behind.

"Because you called me, remember? You said you had cut your wrists and needed my help. I rushed over to your place as soon as I could." explained Kagura.

"When did I call her?" Tomo thought. She hadn't left the bath since she cut herself and she defiantly didn't call anyone before she decided to kill herself.

_Don't forget your promise, Tomo. _Came a distant, soothing voice in Tomo's mind.

"Yomi?"

END

(For those interested. Phasmatis is Latin for Ghost.)


End file.
